So I sat down to write a letter to my roommate and his girlfriend, fully intending it to be an all-out f**kyou-and-all-your-bullsh*t-here’s-what-I-really-think-about-you type of letter. It turned out to be this mature piece of work that I’m actually quite proud of. Full of my honest sentiment (without the cussing and eat-shit type talk), and some cattiness here and there. I was so worked up writing this letter that by the time I was done (and it was long), I already felt better. My keyboard was my personal and convenient late-night venting device. I decided not to send it, because I’m 100% sure that whatever response I would get from him, if any, would most likely boil down to “f**k you, Sasha”. And let’s just say I’ve had a lifetime’s worth of immaturity from these people to want to deal with it any more. So the letter’s staying put. And of course by letter, I mean facebook message, lol. 

But it’s ok, because I take solace in the fact that it’s hard to go through life with so little respect for others without it biting you in the ass somehow down the line.

Karma’s a damn bitch, so “have a nice life” (something the girlfriend said after they left us to deal with 1,001 of their unwanted problems). 

26. You’re gonna run into some vile, manipulative people at some point in your life. Add fiesty, stubborn, condescending, and rude to that mix, and you get what I equate to an extremely unhappy human being. When you do run into said people (like how I unfortunately did this year), just remember this: don’t let them take advantage of you, but most importantly, don’t stoop to their level. Unhappy people can do some f***ed up s**t to others, but don’t fuel the fire or you’ll end up like them. 

26a. As a sidenote to #26…when you have roommates, get everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, in writing! Haha. But seriously. I’m currently suffering the repercussions of that mistake, and will be for the next few months. 

My 90-year old post-surgery patient walked a lap around the floor today. I commented on how well he was able to walk, especially after having had surgery two days ago and with two large abdominal incisions not yet fully healed. He responded with “I’m training for the Boston marathon on Monday. I’m gonna do it twice!” Resilient old people with a sense of humor give me so much joy. I love it. 

Also, he was a priest, and he “gave me his blessing” and told me I’d get very far with my kind of attitude and hard work. 

Perfect way to end my last clinical of the year. I feel extremely blessed. 

4/5/12

The scenario: Young couple walking on the street. Guy smoking and blowing his shit all over the place. Lady next to him makes an obvious cough after being covered in smoke. Guy starts bitching. 

Guy: WTF. Why she gotta “COUGH” like that! Tryna make me feel bad! WTF! This is a free country woman! I can do whatever the f*ck I want! Tryna make me feel bad an’ shit…this is a free country! I ain’t tellin her she can’t walk down the street. This is a free country!

it went on and on. and on. and on. 

Oooo man. If you could only imagine my subconscious telling his ass off lol. I wanted to tell him so badly that being in a free country and being allowed to smoke wasn’t the damn point. Maybe he was compensating for his embarrassment by an old lady. Whatever, bottom line: that shit is bad for you.

For almost 90% of all the diseases/conditions I’ve learned about, smoking causes it, exacerbates it, aggravates it, pisses it off, makes it go faster. However many synonyms you can think of for “cause” and “aggravate”, smoking will do. 

You smoke? STOP!

3/17/12

You know what always amazes me? Old couples. And what amazes me even more? Old couples that still make each other laugh. 

My patient today was this little old lady. She was in a lot of pain from her surgery and was having a lot of trouble managing the pain even while doped up (phantom pain in two of her toes that had just been amputated, really interesting…). I was trying to do little things to distract her from her pain, so I said “Tell me about your husband”. Then this big ol’ smile spread across her face and she said “He’s the love of my life”. Turns out they’ve been married for 49 years. Zamn. 

Her husband came in to visit later, and you could just tell by the way he looked at her that he adored the shit out of her. He took the opportunity of her altered state of energy to poke fun at her. He said to me “I usually tickle her toes, but she doesn’t have any!” Then she retaliated with “F*ck off…” with as much energy as she could. Then they both smiled and started to laugh as he said “There it is”. I did too, as soon as I processed the fact that this tiny old lady just told her husband to eff off. 

It was adorable to watch. He started to tell me that sometimes they get into really big arguments, but in the middle of the argument, they’ll look at each other, and then start to crack up, as if realizing how pointless their argument must be.

That might be the single most effective way to end an argument, lol.

The point is, after 49 years of marriage, they still adore each other and make each other laugh. And it’s beautiful, really. Especially now, where marriage has lost a lot of its meaning. 

Whatever humor exists between you and your significant other, keep it going and keep it coming. 

A little snippet from my book about small bowel obstruction:

Vomiting occurs. If the obstruction is complete, the peristaltic waves initially become extremely vigorous and eventually assume a reverse direction, with the intestinal contents propelled toward the mouth instead of toward the rectum. If the obstruction is in the ileum, FECAL VOMITING TAKES PLACE. First, the patient vomits the stomach contents, then the bile-stained contents of the duodenum and the jejunum, and finally, with each paroxysm of pain, the darker, fecal-like contents of the ileum (Smeltzer, Bare, Hinkle & Cheever, 2010). 

How pleasant!

Last week, I encountered the perfect textbook diabetic patient. Obese, hypertensive, coronary artery disease, peripheral artery disease, end-stage renal failure, diabetic retinopathy, peripheral neuropathy, on dialysis three times a week, wet gangrenous lesions on his lower extremities, oh but wait, I guess the gangrene was taken care of with his below-the-knee amputations…ON BOTH LEGS. 

He was hooked up with some prosthetics, and we ended up having a good conversation about his ability to still do what he wants in life regardless of his lack of feet. But the sad thing is, for the most part, his shit was preventable. 

When I saw a nurse practitioner sometime last August for a physical, one of the last pieces of advice she gave me was “DON’T GET FAT”. At the time, I kinda laughed at the bluntness (and what I thought was insensitivity) of her statement. But looking back, she’s fuckin right. Obesity is such a culprit in so many health issues. I could write an essay about the effects of excess fat in your body, but that might take a while lol. Let’s just say, the gentleman above would have been so much healthier without those conditions if he lived a nutritious and active life. I know how easy it is to get caught up in unhealthy eating and couch-potato-ing. But just put it this way…everything you put into your body, and everything you do to your body, affects your health. Eat healthy and be active, folks. Your body will love you for it when you get older and you still have all your limbs. 

1/16/12

long distance is as far from the shit as anything could possibly be. i’ve said before that i was able to allow myself to focus on the positive, and be content with our videochat sessions and phone calls. which is true. i have been very much. but believe me when i say that every now and again, there’ll be a fresh wave of “fuck, i miss him…a lot”, and the urge to wallow in self-pity is pretty strong. instead, i say this prayer i found that, no lie, makes me feel a hundred times better. just thought i’d share it with anyone out there in a long distance relationship. 

Dear Lord, I know that I have been beautifully and wonderfully made, and I thank you for my life and for Your love. 

Thank you, also, for granting me a partner who is also beautifully and wonderfully made, who shows me some of Your character, and who brings me joy and fulfillment in ways I didn’t even know I needed.

You are a gracious and loving God and I thank you for giving us the gift of being able to share that love with one another.

Lord, You know my heart, and You know that I would much rather have my partner from far away than not at all. 

You also know that sometimes my heart aches with the desire to be near my partner: to share life’s joys and to comfort each other when life is hard; to laugh together, and to be able to look one another in the eye and say “I love you,” even when resolving conflicts. 

I know that You have a plan for us, and that Your plan is much better than one that I could devise. Right now it is so hard for us to be away from each other, so please, fill us with strength for the journey. 

Help us recognize the value in each day, and to see each day as a new opportunity. Fill our hearts with compassion, understanding, and creativity to keep us strong when the pain seems too difficult to bear. 

And please, Lord, if you will, help us find a way to be together soon.